In THE BEST OF BILL we read, page 65, “We will cooperate with practically everybody; yet we decline to marry our Society to anyone. We abstain from public controversy and will not quarrel among ourselves about those things that rip society asunder – religion – politics, and reform. We have but one purpose; to carry the AA Message to the sick alcoholic who wants it.” This was written in January of 1955 some twenty years after the founding of the Fellowship. By then they had sufficient experience with the importance of Anonymity. He opened his talk by stating, “As never before the struggle for power, importance, and wealth is tearing civilization apart. Man against man, family against family, group against group, nation against nation.” Today he might add, church against church.

I remember my early days when the tension in our local groups was palpable due to the newcomers from treatment centers, younger people coming into AA and taking about their addiction to drugs, and mental health issues being raised. A letter was read at the beginning of each meeting telling participants to keep the discussion to alcohol resulting in some folks walking out.

Looking back on those times, I don’t think we quarreled. We avoided the topic of addiction vs. alcoholism. Some of us talked about it in the meeting after the meeting at a local restaurant and discussed how we could bridge the divide. Now, some forty-five years later, we continue to state at the beginning that we confine our discussion to alcoholism. However, it is accepted that almost all of us who have been in the program for a long time are dual addicted if not multiple addicted.

Politically, socially, and religiously our world is, once again, being pulled apart. And yet, in the meeting rooms of the Fellowship one would not realize this fact. We have our differences, we are aware of them, but it is our well-being that keeps us together. We are together because we know the dangers of losing our spiritual strengths. We have but one purpose and that is to help the alcoholic who is still suffering. Some of us, due to age related health issues, are suffering and we need the Fellowship to remind us of the strength we have through living the twelve steps.

Bill goes on to say that “To gain enough humility and self-respect to stay alive at all we have to give up what had really been our dearest possession – our ambitions and our illegitimate pride.” Bill does not speak softly. He can’t afford to. People like me deny any ambitions or Pride. I was taught to be humble and to think of myself as being humble. I became proud of my humility and then just outright prideful. I had every right to be proud. I was good at what I did. But Bill was talking about illegitimate pride; the kind that kills people like me and destroys the possibility of healthy relationships.

There are, today, people I want to take aside and educate them as to why they should not vote one way or another. I want to point out the failures of this or that person and why the person I support is the best of a bad lot. It’s my responsibility to make sure that all voters are educated before they vote. But that has no place inside the halls of the Fellowship. That has no place in a sponsor- sponsee relationship. It has no place in conversation unless those involved are sufficiently respectful of one another that they can agree to disagree. “…AA would always depend on our continued willingness to sacrifice our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare.”

After a few years in the Fellowship, I no longer consider it a sacrifice to put aside that which I think I need. Rather it is more a responsibility to be present to the individual, the group, and AA as a whole. It is a responsibility to be present for others and I can’t do that when I want what I want.

This brings me full circle; I am powerless over people, places, and things and when I think I’m in control my life has become unmanageable, I need help, God help me. My role in AA and, frankly, in other places, is to share my experience, strength and hope and give others the space and the respect to share theirs. Stories bring us together. Opinions divide and destroy. So, I keep it simple, “Do justice, Love mercy, and walk humbly with your God [as you understand God].