Almost 20 years ago, I ran away from home. It shocked me and my friends, but a job was ending; it was 2007 before the housing crash. I rented my house, bought a new car (the one I had was 10 years old).

I left on the spring solstice (March 20) and didn’t return fully until January of 2008. I went to review my life. I had over 20 journals in my car and I read each one. When I finished one, I would copy out the things I wanted or tear out a page to save them. I drove east from Seattle to the east coast and then back again in 9 months.

I went to meetings in Bisbee, AZ, New Jersey, North Carolina and many other places. While staying at my sister’s house in NJ, I got an email from someone I had worked with more than 20 years before. We had stayed in touch, but I had not heard from her in a few years. She had moved to Maui, Hawaii. I was in a place that I couldn’t decide where to go next or what to do. I had decided that I was not moving back to the area I grew up in New Jersey. I think I was looking for a place to make home that wasn’t Seattle. But I didn’t know much more.

My friend asked if I wanted to go to Maui and house sit for her as she was going to the east coast for three weeks and wanted someone to take care of her cats. YES! I would love to! So, I was on the road again. I didn’t want to leave my car on the east coast, so I started back across the country. I got to drive with my college aged daughter, and we had a great time.

Before I knew it, I was on Maui. I was at her house in Makawao. It’s on the northwest side of the island. I drove her to the airport and then started my adventure. One of the things I did often was to go to a small grocery store in the next town – Pukalani. They had local food and I liked the place. It also was often sunny there as there was often rain part of the day in Makawao because it was very close to the rainy side of the island. I loved to say the word Pukalani- it made me smile. I also found great meetings – many on the beach!

One day I asked someone what Pukalani translated to in English. It means “Hole in The Sky! I looked it up and found more information. Pukalani (pronounced Poo-cah-lah-nee) in Hawaiian means "window of heaven." Clouds form above and below the community on Haleakalā the mountain on Maui, leaving Pukalani sunny most of the time! I realized that almost every time I was Pukalani I would see a rainbow with the sun and the line in the sky that separated the sun and rainy clouds.

I felt so happy there that when my friend got back, I contacted a friend who lived on the Big Island (Hawaii) and asked if she knew anyone who needed house sitters and she did! I loved the island and stayed in Kona for 3 months! Someone gave me a cash job; I had a place to stay and a great women’s meeting to go to. Still, I started to feel the pull back to Seattle. Even with the grey, there were lots of times that the sun broke through the clouds and I would feel like God was blessing me. Years before I had an assessment for my drinking. The counselor said that though I had still had some control over my drinking, I would lose it and God would not give me a sign to warn me! This is the drink that will take away your choice. Ever since then, when I saw the sun shining through the clouds, I was reminded of the gift of sobriety I had been given.

Now l live in AZ and see the sun most days but sometimes it is cloudy and the sun peaks out and shines and I remember. My good AA friend here also has this happen to her and we are often walking at the same time of the morning though not together. She will send me a picture, or I will send one to her.

And I remember Pukalani – the hole in the sky – shining god’s promise and love to me.