Is this 12th Step mandate part of your “working of the Program”? What did Bill and Dr. Bob mean? Is there any ambiguity in that phrase?”
At pages 101-116 of the Circus volume (published on the 75th anniversary of the Big Book) Bill and Dr. Bob tell us how we are to “Work with Others.” They tell us how to reach the alcoholic. It’s not a complicated discussion prepared by a task force at a university; it was prepared by Bill and Dr Bob as they walked their own paths through their own alcoholism.
Look at it this way: something was said which they remembered, it reached out to them. It’s the simplicity of it all, their experiences, good and bad. It’s based on what worked for them, what struck them and stuck with them.
Occasionally I’ve encountered inquiries, sometimes friends who are merely curious, others are serious inquiries. There are opportunities with friends such as in some corner at a social event. They say quietly, “Oh, I’m fine, but I worry about the habits of my brother Charlie…” Another approach is an invitation for lunch at a quiet place—quietly, maybe ashamed, there’s a mention of a drinking difficulty.
There are a few opportunities for public speaking. Talk to your local AA office and school systems for both may supply speakers for outside groups.
Bring it up as a topic at a discussion AA meeting:
“I have a friend who asked me about the Program, the drinking of someone in the family, and I’m asking you, What should I say?”
I’ve had two experiences worth noting: My County Jail has a program for the 100 or so confined prisoners guilty of public drunkenness. The County permits AA folks to speak to the prisoners, to tell their stories of recovery, a lead if you please. In exchange, the prisoners who have satisfied the Jailor’s requirements have a certain amount of time reduced from their sentence. I had the chance to speak once a week for several months, fortunately not because I too was a prisoner. I’d spend 45 minutes or so passing along my own experiences. But “yes,” the prisoners like to game opportunities like this, and one shouldn’t expect standing ovations. But one never knows.
And seven years after I had spoken one evening at the Jail, I was attending my usual meeting. As the meeting ended, a gentleman approached me. I didn’t recognize him, but it was clear he remembered me and immediately said to me,
“I should have listened to you seven years ago when I heard you speak at that County Jail program. I was serving time for one of my many jailings for drunkenness. I should have listed to you and your story. Now I work the Program.”
He quickly slipped away before I could say anything.
You never know when an opportunity opens the door. Here’s one: One Saturday I was in my front yard fiddling with my cantankerous lawn mower. My good friend and next-door neighbor was, as usual, cutting through my yard and stopped to chat. After some give and take about the Reds’ loss the night before, he paused, then said,
“Jim, I know you don’t drink any more. What’s that all about? Why so?”
I paused. Then I said, “How bad does it have to be before acting? I didn’t like what I had become” and I continued with just a bit about the !2 Steps.
The raw fact is that you have a few seconds to say something meaningful that might stick and perhaps move the discussion deeper.
Bill and Dr. Bob ask for more than your good attendance at your home group…they ask us to reach out and “carry this message.” Some would say that you can’t keep it unless you try to give it away.
Jim A, St X Noon
