Today, October 14, 2026, is my birthday. I am eighty years of age. I have been active in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for forty-seven of those years. Both those statements are miracles on their own. I am semi-retired and, since my partner is full time employed (a teacher) I have the day to myself in the “home office.” The good thing about this is that I don’t have to be worried about “Being fair minded and tolerant (respectful)’ which is “a goal toward which I must work daily.” *

On Monday, I shared at my clergy AA meeting that I don’t have to be concerned about being “fair minded and tolerant” until I go to a meeting, or the grocery store, or any place where there are humans just like me. When that happens, it brings out the good and the not -so-good of me and then I have to “…ask God, as I understand Him [Her] to help me be loving and tolerant [respectful] to my loved ones and those with whom I am in close contact.”

It never ceases to amaze me the number of times I get in my car, take a deep breath, slowly back out, and make myself believe I am going to be positive to and about everyone I meet. That may last as far as the main gate of the complex in which I live. “All those stupid people. They don’t know how to drive. Why don’t they….” And then I have to bite my tongue and remind myself that I was like one of them the day before.

The thing is this, I don’t say anything to them. I wave to them and, if the window is open, I wish them a good day. They have no idea what I am thinking and what I’d love to do. As was said about me to my mother by those who really did not know me in childhood, “Annie, you’ve got such a good boy.” Little did they know I was required – although that was never said directly to me – to be that ‘good boy’ for the sake of my mother’s good name. 

I can’t count the number of times I told my students, “watch your mouth.” When I began to get sober in the Fellowship, I had to tell myself, “watch your mouth” as I was not the kindest person in the neighborhood. I could and did say hurtful things to people I should have been grateful for in my life. The problem was that there were times when my “Irish temper” had a very short fuse. It was worse when I had a long fuse which finally exploded and the one who got hurt was not the one with whom I was angry.

“Prayer, meditation, and inventories are the key to sound thinking and positive action for me” * Prayer – lifting my mind and heart to God - and meditation helped me with my inventories. Bit by bit, my “Irish temper” was dampened (not put out), and I learned to say “watch your mouth” to myself. More often than not I found myself asking “Do I really need to say anything?” And when I do this, my blood pressure is normal, my breathing is normal, my tongue is secure, and I can laugh.

Once I became sober and began to experience the fruit of the program, the fellowship, and the Promises, it was the “one-liners” that kept tripping me up and steadying me on my spiritual journey. “Does it have to be said? Does it have to be said now? Does it have to be said by me?” One day at a time. I am the hand of A.A. God doesn’t cause it, god will get you through it. I am responsible. I am a good person who makes mistakes. Watch your language. Live the program, work the steps. Pray only for the knowledge of god’s will for us and the power to carry that out. God could and would if He [She] were sought. Talk the talk and walk the walk. Let go and let god. God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Suit up and show up. Keep coming back.

After forty-seven years of working the steps and living the program to the best of my ability and with the help of my Higher Power, I am, thankfully, far from perfect. My Irish temper lies sleeping. Things I shouldn’t say to others, I say to myself. Thanks be to God for the program and the fellowship.

*Daily Reflections: October 12. 294.

Séamus D.
Séamus D. is a semi-retired episcopal priest in the Diocese of Louisiana.